The Art Of Creating

Years ago I taught an art masterpiece class to preschool and kindergarten kids.  One of the creative pieces we did was to have the children draw a picture of their house.  Each child was given a tall rectangular drawing of a box with windows.  the children were instructed to fill in the details to make it their own.  

What I didn't expect, and what I found fascinating was how much I discovered about each child by what and how they drew the features on their house.  There was one little girl who was painfully shy.  Her bangs shaded her eyes from the world and she rarely spoke a word.  In her house picture she drew herself in the very top window.  Outside the house she drew her mom and dad and sister and brothers.  Everything was drawn in the same color, black.  Another little girl with a bubbly, giddy personality had a house with every color imaginable.  It was a kaleidoscope of colors.  She had flowers, trees, birds, butterflies , white puffy clouds and a bright pink house with polka dots.  The contrast between these two little girl's drawings was just as striking as the contrast in their demeanor and personalities.

Art therapists will tell you that children draw what they feel.  It's a reflection of their heart condition.  I learned about art therapy when my 2 year old daughter was in the hospital having surgery on her kidneys.  An art therapist was sent in to assess my daughters pain level so they could properly medicate her.  My daughter was given a doll and magic markers and told to draw on the doll.  At two years old they were looking for "where" she drew on the doll, and "what" color she chose.  Older kids she said, would draw faces with smiles or frowns, band-aids or scribbles on painful areas.   I learned something interesting about art, it can be an expression or reflection of the heart.

Sometimes what we create is an outward expression of what is in our heart.  But what if the reverse is true?  What if what we create, becomes what resides in our heart?  What we think, and what we speak is all creating.  After-all, God created the universe and all the things in it just by speaking, and God is the ultimate creator.

How I chose to "create" in my mind, that is thoughts, imagination, beliefs will be what I express to the world, because they will take up residency in my heart.  The same is true of what I chose to say.  "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks."  Luke 6:45  I can create an atmosphere of peace, love and harmony, or I can create sadness, anger and hurt.  

We are creating all the time, usually by not even realizing it.  I want to create on purpose, with purpose.  I want my words, actions and thoughts to reflect the character of God.  All the goodness, all the grace, all the joy overflowing.  "Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life" Proverbs 4:23  This includes what we think about, care about and what we chose to do, or where we chose to go.

Your heart is so important to God, that the word heart is used in the bible almost one thousand times!  He talks about it more than anything else.  More than sin, more than obedience and even more than love.  According to God, the condition of our heart will determine the conduct and quality of our life.  Our heart is the supply source of life.  Our ability or capacity to live through grace, love and faith, comes from within, not from our circumstances.  

The beautiful thing is that the master creator designed your heart, a priceless masterpiece, unique to you and on purpose.  When God says to guard your heart, its because it was always designed to be pure and good.  That is why I believe he instructed us how to have a heart that reflects his original desire for us.  "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent and praiseworthy, think about such things. Whatever you have learned or seen or heard from me, or seen in me, put it into practice.  Philippians 4:8-9

We were all created in God's image.  Part of that image is the ability to create.  What an awesome gift God gave us.  But it comes with responsibility.  And that responsibility is to create from a heart that was designed to reflect God's character and desires.  Art is creating, but more importantly creating is an art.

What Splashing In Puddles Taught Me About Faith

This morning over some cinnamon toast, my 3 year old grandson and I had a conversation.  He said, "Grandma, yesterday I was talking to God and I told him that I like splashing in puddles."  "So I asked him to make some rain so I could do that."  We talked about how he likes to splash in puddles and he hopped down off his chair to show me.  After a few stomps, twirls, and falling on the ground, he stood up all serious and asked, "Grandma, do you have an umbrella?  Because it's gonna rain."  And my heart smiled.

My grandson is busy.  On the mornings that he shows up at my front door to play, he is like a sprinter coming off the starting blocks.  And here is how our morning goes.  Cereal, toast, play-dough, snack, dig in the dirt, trampoline, snack, horseshoes, build a fort, snack, painting, ride black beauty, snack.  Walk, collect rocks, snack.  Play with hot-wheels,  make stuff in the play kitchen, snack.  You get the idea, and this all takes place within 3 hours.  Yes, there is a lot of snacking at Grandmas house.  He is VERY busy!

Honestly we are all busy.  I know I'm not the only one who feels like there are never enough hours in the day.  I know that a lot of us out there conquering the world, are running on 4 hours sleep and 7 cups of coffee.  We hop out of bed and hit the ground running.  The day rushes by and we are just running as fast as we can to catch up.  By evening we drop from exhaustion and fall into bed.  The next day we start the cycle all over again.  The to do list never gets completely checked off, in fact more things keep getting added and jockeying for a higher position.  

So here is what I realize.  My 3 year old grandson as busy as he is, takes the time everyday to talk to God.  It's not on any to do list, its a natural, organic communication.  It happens in the midst of his very active life.  

I get this.  I read my devotional every morning.  I write the main "theme" word on my wrist so through the day I can be reminded, to keep my focus on his thoughts and truth.  On days when I forget to take this time and run out the door, I feel unanchored.  I simply miss my time with God.  I am searching.  I am trying to fill the holes of my unkempt life with God's goodness and truth.  I am looking for my path, God's plan for me.  So yes, I talk with God everyday.  But it was the second part of what my grandson said that made my heart take notice.

And here is the sting.  My grandson knew God would provide. His childlike faith exposed my own faith for what it was, tattered, shaky and the check engine light was on.  I so wanted to believe that God had this, this day, this problem, this journey in my life, but I didn't have what my grandson was so sure of.  That God would come through for me.  That God truly is who He says He is.  That I don't need to be bigger or better, or to carry all this worry and fret around with me, after I have presented it to his throne.  

I was watching the news, and when the weather forecast came on, I had to smile.  We have had dry hot days here in the 90's.  But guess what?  In two days we will be having rain.  On a trip to Toys R Us, my grandson was told to pick out any toy he wanted.  He wanted an umbrella.  I want to have this childlike faith that my grandson has.  To believe with all my heart that God has this.  That God is there, knows my heart, and will move heaven and earth for me.  At the very least that he will dance with me in the rain.

Lessons From A Bag Of Gummy Bears

Why do we settle for less than God's best for us?  Why do we overlook his blessings and second guess his promises?  Why do we live on the scraps, when he has promised a feast for us?  Sometimes I find myself saying, "Oh no God, I'm fine eating my stale saltines and drinking my tap water, I don't really want that juicy steak with a side of crab legs and a baked potato oozing with melted butter and sour cream."   I mean who likes that stuff anyway?  "You might as well just throw it all away because I'm so happy with my saltines."

And what about the dream, that desire, that we have carried around in our hearts for as long as we can remember?  But we never go to that audition, or go to college for that degree, we never say yes to that new relationship, or apply for that new job.  Oh we have plenty of "good" reasons........  Fear / The feeling that I'm not good enough / Complacency / Laziness / and Doubt.  But that dream, that desire, God planted in us when he created us.  And he did it on purpose!  In psalm 20:4 it says "He (God) will grant you your hearts desire and fulfill all your plans"  It's already been given, all we have to do is take action to claim it.  But most of us never do.

I stumbled across the passage in Deuteronomy.  God told his people all this land is yours. I give it to you.  All  you have to do is march across it and place your feet upon it.  That's it.  But they only walked across a 1/3 of what God had given them.   How many times do we settle for less than what God has promised us?  Out of timidness or fear or something else, we don't lay claim on what God has offered and we usually end up with less than 1/2 of his riches.

Last week I had my two grand-kids over to my house.  My parents came over to see them.  My grandson was so excited when "great" grandma exclaimed she had brought him a gift.  He jumped up and down excitedly with a silly little grin on his face chanting, "What is it?  What is it? "  His eyes got big when he saw it was a bag of gummy bears.  He handed the bag to me to open.  I placed 4 gummy bears in his pudgy little hand.  He just stood there, hand outstretched, never taking his eyes from the open bag.  His face began to scrunch up in utter confusion.  So I told him, "we are just going to have a few of them. "  He looked at me like I was a crazy lady.  And then he spoke in exaggerated syllables, "Grandma gave me ALL of them, not just 4!"  It made no  sense to his 3 year old mind that I would withhold something that was given to HIM!

It hit me like a ton of bricks later.  I have a hard time accepting ALL that God is offering me.  I take a little nibble and insist that I am full.  I insist that this small portion is enough.  But God has so much more set aside for me.  Why don't I claim it?

My perspective is forever changed now.  When God lays a feast before me, I will always picture my grandsons simple faith, and I will remind myself that God gave me the whole bag, not just 4 little pieces.

On The Shores Of Besor Brook

How many of us are tired?  Not the I didn't get enough sleep, I've been so busy kind of tired, but the deep in your bones soul tired.  Tired of keepin on.  Tired of the put one foot in front of the other, pull yourself up by the bootstraps, kind of tired.  My whole soul hurts, deep down muscle ache, defeated, depleted tired. We feel weak.  We want to pull the shades down on our lives and pretend no is home.  Of course we feel guilty for this feeling.  We want to sit down, close our eyes and rest.

It's at these times where I remember Besor Brook.  Besor Brook could almost go unnoticed, but there it is in I Samuel 30, and as a dog tired soul, I take notice.  David, shepherd boy, Goliath killing, king, is leading 600 men on a quest to save their wives and children from those that have taken them hostage.  As they come to Besor Brook ravine, 200 of the men say they are too tired to go on.  What?  These are their families they are going to rescue!!  But they are soul tired.  I can relate.  How many times have I wanted to soak my toes in a cool stream, let the sun beat on my face and not have to be the rescuer?  Too tired to save my family.  Too tired to march on, push on.  After the account in I Samuel, wives and children are rescued, and the men who went to fight are angry.  "Why should those that rested and stayed behind enjoy the spoils?"  But David tells them that they will enjoy the same reward.  He gives them value for staying behind to "watch" the supplies.  And finally he tells them that God was the victor, not them.  

If you are weary here is what you need to know.  It's okay to rest.  Jesus is your David.  He will fight your battles when you cannot.  And if you are among those that fight while others rest, guard your condemnation.  Chances are that some day you too will find yourself at Besor Brook, too tired to move on.

I have been to Besor Brook only two times in my life.  But what I can tell you is, on the shores of Besor Brook there is more grace than anywhere else.  Jesus said, " come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  Matthew 11 28-30.  I believe Jesus is speaking an invitation directly to those of us who need to take off our packs, and dip our toes in Besor Brook.  Rest.  Glorious rest.  Lay down your sword and let Jesus be your David.  Besor Brook is the gospel of undeserved grace.  The name Besor actually means "good news".  And as a pastor friend of mine always liked to say,  "In order for news to be good, it has to invade bad spaces."

Oh SNAP!

Anyone who has children and has tried to capture a picture of them, knows how hard it is to get a good one.  They are doing something adorably cute, you grab your camera, and then before you click the shutter, they are off to the next thing.  (Usually something not adorably cute.)  My oldest daughter was a particularly hard case.  If she saw me with a camera in hand, she would immediately drop what she was doing and turn into a diva.  Arms would flail, twirling was involved, and she would flip her hair in a way that reminded me of horses swatting off flies.  She needed an instruction label, "instant ham, just add camera."  Every photo I tried to capture of her, came out in a blur of arms, legs and horse tails.

Don't even get me started on the Christmas card photo!  Corralling five small children and two dogs into one area is like herding cats into a bathtub.  One of them is touching someone.  "Be still," I say.  One burps.  "Be still!"  They all bust out in laughter over said burp. "Be Still." Someone steps on the dog's tail. "BE STILL!."  One starts crying over being reprimanded with my last stern, BE STILL"  So I say in my sweet high pitched sing- songy snow white voice, (totally through clenched teeth),  "It's okay, just smile for the picture."  Snap - Click!  A photo is born.  It's great!  It's just that someone has a grumpy face with tear stains running down their cheeks, and one of them is lunging toward the dog that's trying to flee, and one is pushing someone on top of the baby who has her blanket over her head.  And it doesn't get any better as they grow up...  And I mean into adults!  It takes me twenty minutes to herd them all to the same location in the backyard.  After plenty of horsing around and a long debate over who is taller, I'm still saying in my pretend authoritative voice, "BE STILL!"  This only makes them laugh more.  Snap - Click.  There are two sets of bunny ears, one person jumping on someones back, one person laughing so hard I can see his tonsils, and the dog has now gotten in the picture because he thinks there's playing involved.  My throat hurts from yelling, "BE STILL" over all the commotion.  Well at least no one is crying.  Well, except me....a little.

Whenever I see or hear the bible verse, "Be still and know that I am God", I always conjure  up this image of trying to take a picture of my children.  It makes me wonder, is this how God feels when he is trying to get MY attention?  I cry out my pleas to God, meanwhile I'm busy.  I'm running around spinning my plates, frantically looking for God's plan for me.  I'm waving my arms and crying loud sobs, "God can you hear me?  Are you listening to me?  Why haven't you answered me?"  And God is saying, "Be still. I'm trying to transform you in my image, but you wont sit still and so everything is a blur."  And so I finally get it.  This tired mom with five wild kids.  I think of the photo sessions, all the distractions and I get it.  FINALLY!

If I want to get a clear picture of God's desire for my life, than I need to "Be Still".  God speaks in a still small voice and if I want to capture it, I need to not be distracted doing everything else. "Be still and know that I am God". Psalm 46:10  We find God in the stillness, when our focus is fine tuned into him.  And when we do, we will find a beautiful picture develop.

A Mother's Purse

Have you ever been to one of those baby showers where they play the purse game?  You know, the one where they have a list of items and you retrieve them from your purse if you have it, and the one who has the most WINS?  I LOVE that game......  I ALWAYS win!!!

My purse weighs about 30 pounds.  My mom thinks that is why I have a bad shoulder, but silly her, I don't even carry it on that side.  Besides I like to think of it as load bearing exercise!

At this given moment I can find these things in my purse.

• a paintbrush, band-aids, and string.  
• a sucker (with wrapper intact) that I keep for my grandson.  He always knows he can find a sucker in my purse.
• A heart shaped rock (I found this on my path and knew my grandson would delight in it.)
• big red gum.  It's so hard to find gum with real sugar in it these days.
• a pen.......okay 4
• a screwdriver.  I always need on of these for opening paint cans, scraping something, and the handle works as a hammer in a pinch.
• a few random screw bits, and a flashlight.
• a half eaten doughnut, and yes it's in a ziplock, and a half dozen m&m's roaming freely at the bottom of my purse collecting lint.
• I have ibuprofen and one vitamin (you never know when the mood will strike to get healthy.)
• I have an eyeglass case that I never put my glasses in.  If I did I would never be able to find them.  Instead they hold packets of eyeglass wipes because I throw my glasses in my purse and have to dig around to retrieve them.  
• a candy bar and a half eaten roll of sweetarts.  
• some lipstick, although I can't ever remember using it but my mom says lipstick is a necessity.
• my wallet and $6.37 in miscellaneous quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies.  No wonder my purse is so heavy!!!

The contents of my purse may change from time to time, but the bizarre collection of items remains a constant.  My children tease me about being able to survive for weeks if dropped in the desert.  Secretly they love this about me.

During intermission at the theater the kids will fight to sit next me.  It's not about me, it's about my purse!   "hey mom, can I have a sandwich from your purse?  I forgot to eat dinner."  Or an exaggerated trip to the DMV and it's, "I need to eat my feelings, hand me a chocolate bar!"  

But alas, I have yet to master Great Grandma's trick.  After 2 hours at the zoo in Phoenix, Arizona and 100 degree weather, she would ask, "Who wants a Popsicle?"  And out of her magical purse she would pull out completely pristine, glistening, frozen solid Popsicles.  Now that is something to aspire to!!

To all the other moms out there, prepared to head into battle with your 30 pound purse, I salute you!  

The Best Gift

Through the years I have been given many, many gifts from my children.  Most of these gifts were not bought at a department store, or wrapped in pretty boxes with ornate bows.  They were simply presented from the heart and with a smile.  My treasures of gifts would not make the Martha Stewart catalog, they consisted of macaroni necklaces, painted rocks, self portraits of their cheeky faces, and play-dough sculptures that I think, were animals.  I adored them, cherished them and was filled with joy.  These gifts made by ruddy, dirty little hands were all heart and soul creations, made with everything they had, for their mom.  My children have offered their loving gifts to other people who have touched their hearts.  On my parents bathroom wall, proudly displayed for over 10 years, is a picture drawn by my 5 year old daughter.  It is a picture of her grandfathers face with shaving cream all over it, and it says, "Grandpa's shaving joke." When my dad would shave, he would put shaving cream on his face and chase the kids around the house and try to kiss them.  My daughter loved their little ritual and expressed it through art.  Her little heart was saying, "I love this special game we play, it gives me joy, and it fills my heart."  When we receive such a gift from a child it resonates in our heart and connects us to what really matters.  Children have this amazing ability to give what matters.  

So why is it, that I have such a hard time accepting gifts that matter from others?  Gifts from grownups, from those that love and care about me, like receiving help, service, advice or a kind act.  Why do I jut my chin out, square my shoulders, and say, "thank you, but I got this".  When the truth is someone else is willing to give something that I cannot give to myself.   When my child presented me with a handful of flowering, wilting weeds and said "Mommy I hope you feel better," did I put my hand up and say, "Oh thanks, but I don't need those."  Of course NOT! That would hurt their tender heart and disconnect what really matters.  And yet I have done that to others, and I have seen the heartbreak in their eyes. 

So what is it, this piece in me, that rejects the motivations of other's hearts?  Is it pride?  I am afraid that others see something in me that I can't do or is lacking?  Is it that I feel unworthy?  Am I fearful that their generosity is misplaced on someone who doesn't deserve it?  Is it trust?  Am I afraid to let someone connect with my heart on that level only to be disappointed?  Am I afraid that they have hidden agendas or unrealistic expectations that I can not measure up to?  Or is it just such a rare commodity in my life that I'm not sure what to do with it?  The common theme I keep coming back to, is fear.  Shame, rejection, feeling less than, being alone, all feed the monster of fear.  When I feed the monster I am robbing others of giving what matters, and I am robbing myself of what I need most.

There are 59 places in the bible that refer to "one another".  Love one another, be devoted to one another, accept one another, instruct one another, serve one another, forgive one another, just to name a few.  We are not meant to go it alone.  We were meant to be "with one another."  God created Adam and said, "It is not good for man to be alone", and so he created Eve as Adam's helpmate.  God's instruction is clear to me.  He gave us one another because we need one another.  When we reject the gift of help, we reject God's original plan and desire for mankind.

So I am brought face to face with something new, something that makes no sense....until it does.  In order to receive the gifts that others offer from the heart, I must first..  Let Go.  Let go of my pride.  Let go of my fears.  Let go of my misguided sense of self reliance.  My fists I hold so tightly clenched together in frustration and stomp my feet in defiance....Let Go.  When  I freely open my hands and heart I am free to except what God has so lovingly provided... one another.  And that truly is the best gift.

Making Lemonade

If you were to drive by my house 12 years ago in the heat of summer, you would have seen budding entrepreneurs in motion.  My 6 year old son and his 4 year old sister, in bathing suits and bare feet, setting up their lemonade stand in the front yard.  

I cringed at the idea.  A busy mom with five kids, an endless supply of laundry, cooking, cleaning and chores, didn't want to design, manage and supervise a lemonade stand in 110 degree summer heat.  It was quite a production as there were signs to paint, lemons to be squeezed, pitchers to be filled, cups to gather and tables and chairs to be set up.  And so I announced a rule.  A proclamation of sorts.  They could do this said lemonade stand as long as THEY did all the work.  Which of course meant that I searched for poster-board and glitter and gathered up the paint, the brushes and glue, dug out the pitchers from the back of the high cabinet, located the ice bucket, pulled out the card table, 2 chairs, tablecloth with the lemons printed on it, cut the lemons, and plugged in the juicer.  They were great little supervisors, and they did all the rest..... I swear.  (Except get all the sticky sugary lemonade off the floor, counters and the trail out the door.)

The other kids scoffed at the idea, but my 6 year old son was not deterred.  he worked that lemonade stand like a professional.  he was charming and sweet and leveraged his little sisters cuteness.  Soon they were back in the house to make more lemonade.  This went on a few more times before they closed up shop for the day.  It lasted longer than I thought it would.  My front yard and front room were spotless as I kept a keen eye out for stranger danger, but the laundry was really pilling up.  My son sat down to count his money, he had made over 100 dollars!!  I poured myself a glass of lemonade and that's when I realized he had forgotten to put the sugar in!

As I lay in bed that night I couldn't get over the fact that he had made well over 100 dollars, and I knew with his big windfall, that his older brothers and sister would get on the bandwagon and a lemonade stand would be a permanent fixture in my front yard for awhile. To tell you the truth I was exhausted just thinking about it.  

But here is what I knew.....THEN

• I wanted my children to express themselves in creative ways.
• I wanted to encourage their "BIG ideas, and help them achieve them.
• I wanted my children to be more important than my tasks and to do lists.
• That doing this with 5 children is A LOT OF WORK!
• I wanted my children to have a chance to experience all things.

Here's what I know...NOW

• Instead of keeping an eye on them thru the window, I would pull up a chair and soak in the beauty of their little entrepreneurial spirit in motion.
• that my children are amazingly creative and think outside the box.
• that my children are not afraid of taking on any task and accomplishing their dreams.
• that my children believe they can do anything.
• That my children believe that their mom will drop everything to assist them.
• that my children know that I am their biggest fan.
• that I would give anything to have those sticky floors, counter-tops and trail out the door again.

The saying goes.....  When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  But I say...  "Life is busy, sticky and messy, make lemonade anyway."

The 5 Striking Resemblances Between Two Year Olds And Teenagers

There is a striking resemblance between a two year old and a teenager.  Just when you thought you had navigated and survived your two year old, your hit with a teenager!  God really does have a sense of humor.  I am pretty sure this is a test for those of us who failed the first go round.  I have listed out the most common denominators between the two stages of adolescence

1.  They don't want to go to bed.  Wrestling a two year old into bed can be an Olympic event.  First there is the "no", then there are the tears and the fall apart on the floor, I don't want to go!  Once you have them in said bed, there's the,  "read me a story",  "read me one more", followed by the "I need a drink", "don't close the door", "Leave the light on" routine. And then, your out.  Just when you think you have finally pulled it off, they are UP!  With teenagers its....  "It's getting late, you have school tomorrow, better get to bed."  They start to move from the couch but only make it to the fridge.  They stand there with the refrigerator door open just staring.  (this is because like said two year old, they are not hungry but stalling)  After an exasperated sign, they close the door.  They meander to their room.  Fifteen minutes later they are up.  They are in the bathroom.  Then they are standing at the fridge again with the door open.  You say "goodnight", and they head to their room and close the door.  You turn the lights off to go to bed yourself, when you hear their door and they announce, "I have some papers you need to sign for school".  
2. It's all about me.  When our children are babies we take care of their needs immediately.  As our child grows the shelf life of immediate attention nears it's expiration date.  As you can imagine this is a great injustice to our budding two year old.  I want, I need, and I can't wait.  There is some kind of self preservation lens that our teenagers get, (i wish I knew who was handing these out so I could choke them)  Everything that happens, happens directly to them.  We can not possibly understand having never been teenagers ourselves.  
3. There are fits of anger and tears.  A two year old is an emotional mess.  A teenager is an emotional mess.  There is no need to say more.
4. You can't get them out of the tub or shower.  Put a two year old in the tub and it's splash down USA.  They could play in there for hours, even when the water gets cold.  Teenagers you can't get out of the shower.  The water runs so long all you can hear are dollar signs for your next water bill.  You are pretty sure the hot water heater has run out of hot water, but the shower is still going so........
5. Fighting for independence and saying no.  Both a two year old and a teenager share this same trait.......  They don't like the clothes you pick out for them and insist on wearing the outfit that THEY want.  Usually it will be most expressed when you are going to some big event or social gathering.  (secretly I think they do this on purpose to embarrass us, but I have no actual proof......yet)  And oh how they love to say, "No."  No to chores, to picking up their toys, to saying they are sorry for hitting, biting, scratching. Teenagers say no to cleaning their room, to curfew, and to pretty much anything you want them to do right now.  And don't even get me started on the outfits they wear!  

When our two year old grows up and becomes a teenager, we are back to picking our battles. We survived the "terrible" two's and it looks like that was just a warm up for the teenage years.  

I Love You More

In our house we like to play this little game.  It goes like this......  One of says "I love you", and then the other responds, "I love you more."  Now we are all just a tad competitive (and I have no idea where they get this from BTW) so we can't just leave it at that.  So my child then says  "NOT possible, I love you higher than mountains!" So, I respond, "Well, I love you to the moon!"  My child says:  "I love you to Jupiter and back!"  So, I say......  "I loved you first!"  And then there is silence.  Gotcha!  The words may change but we play this game often.  You would think that by now they would know that eventually I am going to play my trump card and WAMMY I WIN!!!  But instead we are always trying to prove our love for each other is greater.

A couple months ago I was playing this little game with my three year old grandson.  He said, "I love you grandma."  And so I replied, "I love you more."  He giggled and the game was on.  He loved me more than his matchbox cars, McDonalds Happy Meals, and his rocking horse, Black Beauty.  But then he said, "I love you more than candy!"  And WAMMY!  There was silence.  My grandson LOVES candy!!  I was speechless.  That's a lot of love.  It touched me so deeply.  I felt immeasurably loved and valued.  Silly I know....

So the other day my grandson and I were sitting on his couch and we started to play our little game.  We went back and forth proving and outdoing each others love for each other. That is until I said, "I love you more than candy!"  His smile turned serious and he said, " I'm done playing this game grandma."  I guess the competitive gene got passed down one more generation......

Some people have a huge capacity to love.  With five children my love was never divided among them, but multiplied.  The human heart grows and expands the more you love.  Moms know what unconditional love is.  A mothers love for her child is not earned or measured by the child's compliance or actions. It is not performance based.  If our children make bad choices, or get into trouble, we may be sad or disappointed, but it does not change our love for them.  This feeling, this knowing that I have about my love for my children, is the closest thing I can compare to how God loves us.  

Our worth to God, his unconditional love and acceptance of us, does not come from proving or earning it.  Every soul was created by God and in the image of God's love.  God's love is unfailing, eternal, everlasting, and unconditional. All of us crave this sense that we matter, that we have value, that we can be loved just as we are.  We want someone to truly see us and say, "You are more than."   Some of us try to earn it.  Some try to pretend to be perfect.  Some try to avoid the pain by self medicating with the habit of their choice.  God has already declared that our soul has great worth!

I realize that God plays the, "I  love you more" game with me daily.  He says, "I love you so much that I gave you a healthy body so you can run and jump and play with your grandchildren."  "I painted the sunset in vibrant colors so your eyes could see beauty."  "My love for you is wider than the streams, and taller than the mountains."  And then he says "I loved you first."   WAMMY!  I am speechless.  And then I remember.......  1John 4:19  We love because he first loved us.

You Are God's Beautiful Creation

If you ever want to hear the truth, listen to a child speak.  They haven't figured out that sometimes the truth hurts.  That not everything observed should be said out loud.  They haven't learned the manipulation of flattery, or how to say something untrue just to appease someone.  Grownups can wield words as weapons, or manipulate words for their own agenda.  Grownups have a filter, but some chose to ignore it all together.  But children say things because it's simply how they see it.  Unfiltered, unedited in all it's glory.... good and bad.

Have you ever had just "one of those days?"   You know that one I'm talking about.  The one where the whole world seems to be  pushing you down.  When you can be doing 100 things with grace, mercy, kindness..... and well just plain goodness, and then someone points their finger at the one thing you missed the mark on, or that one flaw that you haven't overcome, and all the sudden doubt sets in.  You rally to try harder, spin the plates a little faster, and then end up feeling like a failure and a disappointment. Like maybe your not good enough. Well I had one of those weeks.  Defeated, deflated and broken down.

As I was buckling my grandson into his car seat, I happened to just look into his little face.  He was so beautiful it made my heart smile.  I thought, this God, is good.  This is pure, this fills me with joy.  So I couldn't help saying to my grandson, "you are God's beautiful creation."  My two year old grandson put his pudgy little hands on both sides of my cheeks in a gentle caress.  "You Grandma, are God's beautiful creation."  And just like that, those words filled all the empty spaces in my wounded heart.  Have other people told me I'm amazing?  Sure.  But when my two year old grandson said it, I believed him.  

The bible tells us in Matthew 18:3  "Assuredly I say to you, unless you change and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven."  Why would God say this?  Because children are innocent and trust with pure, uncorrupted hearts.  Childlike faith, along with childlike love, is a direct path to God's heart.  Children are not concerned with the burdens and limitations the world places on them.  As adults we let these hurdles slow us down, knock us down, or keep us down.  Jesus is telling us to have child like faith.  To trust him for our identity, our value and our significance.  Rely on him to fill the empty spaces and supply our needs, just as a child depends on his parents for food, care, and love.   

I let the world tell me I was missing the mark.  Instead of turning my eyes to God, I crumbled.  I didn't see like a child sees.  That God is bigger than my limitations and my faults.  That I am his beautiful creation, imperfect as I am.  

I want to tell you today, that you my friend, are God's beautiful creation.  No matter what is going on in your life, have faith that God made you on purpose and with a plan!

Were Those Really Simpler Times?

Moms throughout the generations have been plagued with issues that threaten and endanger their children.  I hear all the time that today's children face more danger than any other generation from the past.  People say, "Those were simpler times."

Although it's true, our children are facing issues that past generations could never have fathomed like internet predators, cyber bullying, and what seems rampant pedophiles and drug addiction, I'm not sure how much more we aware of the dangers by the media parading them around, or if truly "the world has gone to hell in a hand-basket."  But past generations were not immune to the "dangers" their children faced.

On my summer vacation to the Black Hills with my family, we went to an old cemetery in Deadwood, South Dakota.  Although most people were there to see the famous graves of Wild Bill Hickok and Calamity Jane, it was the children's plot that touched my heart.  From 1878 to 1880 Deadwood was struck by epidemics of scarlet fever and diphtheria.  More than 350 infants and children were buried in this children's section alone.  During these times the infant mortality rate was more than double that of adults.  

Although today we face new problems and threats, we have overcome some very substantial ones from the past.  Medical advances, immunizations and medication have eradicated most deadly childhood illnesses and infections.  Yes, we are facing new dangers for our children in today's generation, but I have no doubt that we as a society will overcome these as well.  We only need to look at the past and how far we have come.  We also need to recognize and see how blessed we are that we don't have to live with the heartbreaking fear of childhood diseases taking our children from us like the moms of the 1800's did.

I paused before the graves of those 350 plus children and silently mourned for those mothers that lost their children too soon.  I gave thanks in gratitude to God, that I would never have to feel this heartbreak.  I was filled with hope for our future children, that one day they too will overcome the dangers we face now, and that the past will be a silent reminder that life is very precious.

5 Things Your Child Should Learn Before They Get Their Drivers License

I have learned a few things about what your child needs to know before getting their drivers license.  Each time one of my children would get their license, I thought I had prepared them for the responsibility of driving and maintaining a car.  This month my 5th child will be getting her drivers license, and now I have a chance to finally get the formula right.

When I turned 16 and started nagging my parents to drive me to the DMV to get my license, my dad took me out to the driveway and made me rotate the tires on the 76' Cadillac.  I thought at the time that he was just trying to dis-wade me from my mission, but I have NEVER been one to back down from a challenge!  Now I understand that he never wanted me to be stuck somewhere with a flat tire and unable to take care of myself.  And by the way, I am an expert tire changer!

There is something you should know about me though.  I carry the gene for broken head gasket.  This is not a recessive gene by the way.  I and four of my children have either cracked, broken or warped the head gasket on our cars.

I am not proud of this, but if I don't laugh at myself, I would cry.  These were a few very expensive and inconvenient mistakes.  So here are my top 5 things to teach your kids before they get their license.  

1. Where the oil goes.  How to check the oil.  Older cars need frequent checks by the way, and that big grease spot under your car is probably your oil!
2. Check the coolant/antifreeze regularly.  Especially important in the HEAT!  Make sure they know where it goes.  My son once put coolant in the oil compartment.  Oooops
3. The battery.  How to jump start a car.  How to clean the battery connections.  In Phoenix, the batter life is 2 years, it's sooooooo hot!  If your car won't start, a good place to start is checking the battery.
4. Tires.  How to change a tire, and how to check and keep the correct tire pressure in your tires.  the correct tire pressure will add life to your tires and prevent a blowout.
5. How to use a sharpie to cover up the check engine light.  I'M KIDDING!

My perspective might be slanted a little.  I live somewhere that it hardly rains, and NEVER snows.  It doesn't get to freezing temperatures, but it does get to 121 degrees.  You may need to add things to your list to maintain it in the cold or snow.  This mama doesn't know anything bout that!

The Performance Trap

 A lot of us moms can fall into the "performance trap."  Are we doing enough to be a good mom?  Are we making healthy meals and including all the food groups?  Are we packing them a nutritious lunch with a smiley face note from mom?  Are we paying enough attention to their schoolwork and listening enough to make them feel important?  Are we volunteering enough at school, at church?  Are we helping those in need?  Are we keeping the house clean enough that an unexpected visitor doesn't send us into a bout of shame?  Are we juggling all the extra-curricular activities with ease, or are we always flying out the door at the last minute?  Are we giving enough, doing enough, and being enough?

We start to compare ourselves to other moms, and up our performance.  We feel guilty and are afraid if we don't perform perfectly our friends will look down on us, and worse yet, our children will not value us as a mom.  Mom's struggle with these things.  Other people can be cruel and judge us on our shortcomings and weaknesses.  With five kids, even the best mom can drop the ball a few times....... And I have.  The human mind and body are only capable of so many things.

When I start to feel like a failure, I turn my eyes to Jesus.  There is my comfort, my refuge.  God loves us unconditionally.  His love is not contingent on how many hats we are wearing and how perfect our performance is.  His love, and our performance, are not related issues.  He will not love us more if we are doing more, nor will he love us less if we are not doing as much.  he simply loves us.

When i feel as if I have been boo'd off stage, I regroup.  I focus on Jesus and his unfailing love.  I ask him to direct my mind and show me what is important.  Living in this freedom of being enough for God, allows me to give that unconditional love to my children.  It gives me the courage to say no when I need to, and yes to the things I excel at.

We are going to be busy, we are moms after-all.  Just don't let the performance outshine the message.

10 Things I Wish I Had Known In High School

1. That it is God's opinion of me that matters.  My value does not come from others.  God thinks I am amazing, beautiful and enough.
2. That my brother would not be on this earth for long.  I would have let him know how much I looked up to him and admired him, instead of withholding because of pride.
3. How good it would feel to friend the friendless, include the excluded.
4. That being kind gets you further than being pretty.
5. That God is bigger than any situation that I may face.
6. Making a difference in the world is just as grand if you make one small difference in the corner of your little world.
7. That pleasing people all the time is impossible, but pleasing God is not.
8. You cannot change anyone but yourself, no matter how much you try or how much you love them.
9. That God has a plan for my life.
10. That my parents are human.  Real people with real hurts and desires.

The 3 Seasons of Life

My cousins wife told me that there are 3 seasons of life.  

1. The first season of your life is about learning how to live.  This is why it is so important as parents that we teach, model and instruct our children at this early age.  They are a sponge taking in all that is around them.  They learn kindness, gentleness, gratitude, mercy and forgiveness.  They can also learn selfishness, anger, resentment and criticism.  They will learn these things whether you purposely teach them or not.  They will learn them from the world, their friendships, observing their family, and how they are treated.  Something they may not learn without instruction, is life skills.  How to cook, how to drive, how to problem solve, just to name a few.  
2. The second season of life is about living what you learned.  This is where you are on your own and all the things you have learned prior come into play.  The things you believed as a child will craft your decisions and tell you how to navigate the world.  You may be ill equipped to face the challenges of the world, or you may have a strong foundation.  But you will drawn from the pool  of what you know.
3. The third and final season of your life is about giving away what you know.  At this stage of life we start to give away our possessions.  Things we have accumulated and used lose their usefulness to us and we want to pass them on to someone who needs them.  We become Grandparents and start to share our stories of life, lessons learned and how thankful we are.  We give away our time.  We spend more time with people we love, or more time volunteering and serving.  We know what it was like to be a young single mom struggling, and we come alongside these moms and offer encouragement.  

These seasons of life struck a chord with me.  It's so obvious and yet something we never really think about.  What season are you in right now?  Can you identify with these?  Will knowing this change your perspective?

Teach Your Children Self Defense

My 23 year old daughter lives 1300 miles away.  One of her jobs is in a restaurant/bar.  Upon closing the restaurant at 2:30 am, she was attacked by a man waiting in the shadows of the parking lot.  My daughter was able to fight off her attacker and get away relatively unharmed.  She was rattled and scared understandably, but what she did in that split second of time, made all the difference.  I was never so thankful that I put her in karate when she was younger. Karate taught her self defense.  It taught her how to get out of an arm hold, to break free from a neck hold, and how to attack someone who is trying to do  you harm so that you can get away.  It is repetition over and over so that when it happens to you, you don't think....  you simply react.  My beautiful daughter was upset for hurting someone, Bless her heart.

Don't forget to teach your children, especially your girls, how to be safe. Here are some points to keep in mind.

• Always walk around your car to make sure no one is hiding in your car.
• Always lock your car.
• When walking to your car don't talk on your cell phone or text, it distracts  you and predators look for this.  Be aware of your surroundings at all times.
• Park under a street lamp
• Hold your keys between your knuckles when walking to your car, sharp parts pointing out.
• Go for the vulnerable parts of the body, the top of the foot, the eyes, and the groin.
• Lock your car once you are safe inside before doing anything else.

Here are some things I taught my children when they were small.

• If lost in a store, go to a store employee.  Someone behind the check-stand.
• Policemen are our friend.  A lot of people make negative comments about the police when they get pulled over, or see them on the side of the road.  Teach your children that they are the good guys, they protect and serve.
• Teach your children how to make a collect call from a pay phone.  I know they are few and far between, but they do still exist and it may save their life.
• Teach them to yell out for help if they are being taken or in danger.  Specific words like "help, " OR "your not my mommy/daddy," are best.
• Institute a safety word for the family.  Anyone who is trying to pick up your child from school or practice must use this word to verify that they have your permission to do so even if they are someone that your child knows.
• Get them involved in a martial arts class.  They learn self defense and discipline.  They will learn respect of others and self control.  It will teach them to avoid conflict, but to protect themselves when necessary, and the wisdom to know the difference.
• Teach them to dial 911 on the phone in an emergency.

By doing these things we are giving our children the tools they need to be safe in the world.  We hope that they will never be in that situation, but as I shared about my daughter, we have no guarantee.  

Beggar In The Parking Lot

A few months ago my 22 year old daughter and I went to the hobby store.  As we pulled up a tattered man approached our car.  He asked for money.  We were in a hurry, as this store closed in 15 minutes and I needed my supplies urgently that night.  I simply shook my head no at the man. It only took us five minutes to gather my supplies, but in that five minutes the old man in the parking lot was weighing heavy on my mind. I couldn't shake this uneasy, nagging feeling prodding at my spirit. The thing that kept going through my  mind was the verse, Matthew 25:35

 'For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,  I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

 When we left the store I was looking around for that man.  My daughter asked what I was doing.  I told her I needed to find the man we had just seen asking for money.  She let out a little huff....."You can't be serious about giving him money? It's probably a scam".  I proceeded to tell her the story she was too little to remember.  The time my father had given money to a young girl at a truck stop.  I was surprised that my father would so willingly give her money, and my mom said as much out loud.  My dad's response was that it was not our responsibility to distinguish those truly in need, but our responsibility to help those who present a  need. That is what God requires of us.

My daughter searched the parking lot renewed in her quest to find the tattered man.  As we got in the car she said, "drive over there.  Turn around, go back.  He couldn't have gotten that far.  Where is he?"  She was a person on a mission.  

Silently we left the parking lot and headed home.  Both of us thinking the same thing.  Was that Jesus?  Did we seriously just say no to him? 

Celebrating Father's Day (when your father isn't perfect)

I am among the lucky few, who has a dad that is AMAZING!  My dad has been my biggest cheerleader, my number one spectator, and wisest teacher in my life.  I know my heavenly Father adores me, because my earthly father does.  Father to me is  warm rhubarb pie with vanilla ice cream on top, or a warm fuzzy blanket on a cold night.  Comfort, joy, love.  But to too many people I know, "father" conjures up hurt, rejection or abandonment.

So when Father's Day roles around it can be hard to celebrate something that leaves an ache in your heart.  I want to encourage you to think about these things this Father's Day.

1.   OFFER GRACE.  No one is perfect, even Dads.  "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."  Romans 3:23  God is the only father that can love perfectly.  You can demonstrate Godly love to your own dad by offering grace.  Grace does not excuse his bad choices and all the times he missed the mark.  But Jesus calls us to forgive.  Forgiveness is for you. Forgiveness removes bitterness and makes our hearts right with God.  After-all, we ask God to forgive our sins, what if he said, "no"?  
2.   PRAY FOR HIM.  Your father may not even know Jesus, but God can move mountains.  Pray that he would come to know the love God has for him.  Pray that God would heal his brokenness and give him purpose.
3. HONOR YOUR FATHER.  "Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord has given you."  Exodus 20:12  This is the first commandment with a promise.  Just as we are to honor the One who created us, we are to honor the ones God chose to carry out God's plan for our creation.  Your unique being came directly from him, and you have some of his attributes.  Focus on his strengths.  Honoring your dad also means you acknowledge those gifts and the fact that he too is a child of God and loved dearly by the creator.  It may seem hard to honor your father when the things he says or does hurt you, but that is what God requires of you.  He felt so strongly about it, that he made it one of the ten commandments.

No matter how great or how poor your relationship is with your Dad, you have a reason to celebrate this Fathers Day.  Why?  Because you have a heavenly Father who loves you unconditionally.  He thinks you are amazing, beautiful, and worthy.  HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Stop Look And Listen

This past weekend I had the pleasure of having my two grandchildren stay with me.  Everywhere I took them, when we got out of the car, I would tell them to STOP, LOOK and LISTEN.  It was a mantra I had taught my own children, and I'm sure one you have taught yours.

This weekend was a busy and chaotic one for me.  My son was graduating high school, my daughter was moving home from Nebraska, and I was throwing a graduation party.  My grand-daughter started the weekend off with a 105 temperature.  There were seven personalities sharing some cramped spaces in my home.  Amidst the busyness and commotion, I felt God trying to get my attention....

STOP   LOOK  and LISTEN.  

STOP.  Everything does not have to go perfectly or be perfect.  Stop moving and doing and be still.  Stop and rock that baby.  Stop and play cars with your grandson on the floor.  They are small for only a short time.  Stop and take in the amazing accomplishment your son made at graduation.  Live in the moment.  Relish the new adventure your son is going on.  Stop and be present.  

LOOK. Take the time to look around.  See all these blessings I have given you.  Enjoy watching your children as young adults, playing with their niece and nephew.  Look into their eyes as they tell you a story.  Memorize their faces, their smile, and their laugh. This moment won't last forever. Really see your graduating child and reflect on how grown up he is.  There is a little boy turned Godly man.  Look at how far he has come from that little boy learning to read, learning to get along with others, and learning to navigate the world.  

LISTEN.  Take the time to listen to each person.  The people attending the graduation party are people I don't see very often.  Listen, connect, hear their story.

As my weekend came to a close, I sat outside under the stars with my freshly bathed grandson.  We watched the bats fly around, and counted the stars.  The world was quiet and still.  With many prompts and reminders, I had learned to STOP, LOOK and LISTEN.  I had soaked up every moment I could have.  I felt blessed and at peace.  I had listened to my fathers instruction.  I know God was smiling.  "Well done my good and faithful servant."  Matthew 25:21

STOP LOOK and LISTEN is not just something we teach our children.  It is something that sometimes we have to re-learn ourselves.  I encourage you to be present in the moments that make up your lives.  Stop long enough to enjoy what is in front of you.  See all that you have instead of thinking about what you do not have.  Listen to God's still small voice directing your life.