I do great under crisis. When there is a problem I get right on it. I stay calm, cool and collected and get right down to business. I can usually undo, fix, or figure out anything. Almost. Except when I can't.
And for me, these are faith issues, and I struggle with them. A lot! For a mom with 5 kids, and endless opportunities to hone my skills, you would think I would have a handle on this by now. But it always hits my blindside. In fact it ALWAYS takes quite a while for it to register on my radar as a faith issue.
I have this visual in my head. I'm in a old house, upstairs. There is a great long hallway with many doors. (I know sounds kind of like an institution, but hey, this is my visual so it's a house.) I am walking down the hallway trying to open doors. Can I pick the lock? Is it just stuck? What if I push harder? Can I break it down, kick it in? Is there a key hidden somewhere? I think I will look around for the key....... And so it goes, me trying in my own strength and mind, to go through a door. Why not just stop to look around to find the open door? Why? The why is because I think no one is going to come ridding in on the white horse and rescue me. " If it's to be, it's up to me." I have learned to push through pain, overcome obstacles, and at times sand off a square peg to fit in that round hole. Now in my exhaustion, I look back on my life, and I picture God sitting back with a heavy sign and saying, "Okay my beautiful warrior child, let me know when your done so I can show you the easy way."
God has a path for me, a plan for me. Instead of trying to do my own will, why don't I do his? God can and is willing to do all the heavy lifting, and yet my pride and self reliance always get in the way. God is not a back up plan. God is the plan!
God does not put obstacles in my way, I do. I spend so much time running around and being busy, and trying to force my will and my way, that I don't see what God is doing. I don't see the open door.
If you, like me, are trying by your own strength and force, to blaze through the tall grass and shrubs, may I give you the pep talk I'm giving myself. Again....
God has a path laid out before you and me. Yes, some of it is uphill, but when we are too tired, He will offer us rest. When the storms come and the rain beats down on us, He will be our refuge. When we simply cannot move one more step, He will carry us. We do not have to go it alone. And those locked doors? They may be locked for a reason. They may simply be a distraction at best, or they may be locked for our protection. Not unlike unanswered prayers, they may be a blessing in disquise, and something we just can't see from where we are at.
I trust you God, to direct my steps. I will keep my eyes on you. When I start to lose my way today Lord, help me to remember that your plans are bigger than my dreams.