My grandson loves to dig in the backyard. In fact he can sniff out a shovel in no time flat. He then begins his quest. Every time after he has been to my house, I have to go around and fill all the holes. Holes in the potted plants, holes in the garden, holes in the yard and in the gravel.
And now he has the dog on the scene. I guess he sees how much fun it is and has to try it himself. There is one hole in the backyard that I keep refilling and the next time I look, it's there! Half way to China!! I want to know what happens to all that dirt. You would think it would be right there next to the big gaping hole, but no. I have gotten to the point that I have to shovel dirt from other areas of the yard to fill it.
We humans have holes too. They are created from hurtful things people have done and said to us in our past. Over time and repetition this damage starts to seep in and we start to believe it. We adopt a new belief that erodes our confidence, significance and value. Some of us don't even know its there, but it becomes a stumbling block in our lives. If we know it is there we will do everything we can to avoid it. The hole knocks us down, keeps us down and we just don't understand why we cant get rid of it.
We try tirelessly to fill it. We try to self medicate with alcohol, drugs or sex. We look for other people to fill our holes for us. But in the end we still have this big gaping hole that just cant be filled. We focus on what others think and say about us instead of turning to the truth that comes from God. We care so deeply about being accepted by those around us instead of resting in the acceptance and overwhelming love that God has for us. The reason why we can not fill that hole is because we have created a belief that has no foundation. The foundation is WHAT and WHO God says we are. Until we can let go of that false belief nothing else we do can fill it.
Our false belief can look something like this...
"I am unlovable", but God says, "I love you." (John 3:16)
"I can't do anything right", but God says, "You can do all things". (Philippians 4:13)
"I can't forgive myself", but God says, "I forgive you". (Romans 8:1)
"I am not pretty enough", but God says, "I created you in my image". (Genesis 1:27
When I'm trying to fill someone else's hole, it becomes exhausting. I just want to hide the darn shovel. No matter how much love you pour on someone, how desperately you try or tiptoe around their hole, you can never get it filled. So many relationships fail because they expect the other person to fill their hole. It's an effort in futility because only that person, with God's help, can fill it.
When I am quick to accept someone else's opinion of me as truth, I am stopping in my tracks and instead turning my heart to God and trusting and caring more about what GOD says of me.
I am teaching my grandson to fill his own holes. The ones in the backyard now, but maybe one day in his future, he too will see that holes are a part of life. And he will remember that Grandma said, "Sweetie, you gotta fill those holes." And I am learning from God that I have some of my own holes to fill.