A young youth pastor asked me, "what do you do when you have raised your children with the knowledge of God, and one of your children does not embrace it?"
Here are my thoughts on what we can do when our child turns from God. My thoughts come from the parable of the prodigal son. Luke 15: 11-32
11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinnedagainst heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your propertywith prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”
New International Version (NIV)
When I read this, my first thoughts turn to the father. I can imagine him searching the hillside several times a day hoping to glimpse his son walking toward home. The hopeful anticipation and then the heartbreaking defeat that this man must feel, touches the very heart of me. I also notice that that this father does not give up on his child. He keeps faith and anticipates his return, even though he has no proof, guarantee, or external signs to indicate that.
Although this story doesn't say as much, the father lets his son go his own way. He doesn't threaten him to stay, or hunt him down and drag him back home. This is not unlike our heavenly Father who allows the sinner to go his own way. He greatly loves us and patiently waits for us, so he can show his great mercy.
It is the forgiving father, whose character remains constant throughout the story, that overshadows the sinfulness of the son. In the end it is the memory of the fathers goodness that brings the prodigal son to repentance.
So what does this all mean to us? How can we apply this to our own situation?
- As a parent there is nothing our child could do that would make us stop loving them. This is a God given attribute. Nothing can separate us from the love of our Heavenly Father.
- As a mom, and a christian, my faith remains strong. I am not only hopeful but wait expectantly for God's hand to move in my life and the life of my children. We strengthen our faith by praying for God's will, protection and intervention.
- Do not give up on your child. We can see many examples in the bible that reflect Jesus's loving attitude toward the lost.
- Sometimes we need to get out of the way and let God do his work. Enabling and strong arming our children into submission is not God's way.
- We need to set a Godly example. Forgiveness, gentleness, kindness, and love. Even when it is not deserved or earned. We are a lamp into the world. We need to shine our light so bright that our children can find their way home in the dark. We are the ambassador for Christ, and we need to make sure our child sees his reflection in our face.
In my next blog I will discuss some of the reasons why I feel young adult children stray from their relationship with God....