I Corinthians 13:4 is a beautiful portrayal of love. Many wedding ceremonies include this reading, because we all aspire to love this way and BE loved this way. God wanted us to know what REAL love is and how to recognize it. I believe this scripture to be God's standard on how to love. But I want to challenge you to think about this scripture in a slightly different way. Loving others can be difficult. No one loves perfectly, but what we are striving for is to be someone who TRIES to love this way. But if loving others is difficult, loving ourselves is just plain HARD!! My question is, How well do you love yourself? Take this quiz.....
LOVE IS PATIENT...
A. Do you give yourself grace to grow through difficult moments and events when life does not go according to your plan? Are you calm while waiting on the Lord to direct your path and open your eyes?
B. Or are you easily agitated with yourself? Are you frustrated that today you feel no closer to your authentic self than yesterday, and that change is moving too slow?
LOVE IS KIND....
A. Are you tender and compassionate to yourself? Do you speak words of encouragement to yourself?
B. Or do you beat yourself up for the mistakes that you made? Are you harsh in your criticism and cruel in your self talk?
LOVE DOES NOT ENVY.....
A. Do you rejoice in your success and blessings? Do you feel gratitude and thanksgiving for all that God has entrusted you with?
B. Or do you resent what others have and feel like you deserve more than others? Are you jealous of others and their blessings?
LOVE DOES NOT BOAST ....
A. Do you put others first? Do you feel like it is your responsibility to please others or God?
B. Or do you put yourself first? Believing that you are better than others and if you don't take care of you, no one else will?
LOVE IS NOT PROUD....
A. Are you humble? Do you say thank you when someone compliments you with sincerity and gratitude?
B. Or are you prideful and believe you are better than everyone else and that you know best?
LOVE IS NOT RUDE.....
A. Are you polite to yourself? Are you sensitive to how you are feeling and work through those feelings in healthy ways?
B. Or do you call yourself names like, your no good, or you always mess things up? Are you abusive to yourself in words, actions or addictions?
LOVE IS NOT SELF SEEKING.....
A. Do you consider your own needs and try to reconcile them within yourself? Are you willing to look in the mirror and deal with the messy sticky places?
B. Or do you expect others to fill your needs? Do you expect others to make you happy, or blame them when you are not.
LOVE IS NOT EASILY ANGERED.....
A. Do you remain calm when things do not go your way? Are you gentle with yourself when you make a mistake?
B. Or, when you make a mistake are you quick to become angry with yourself? Do you become angry and punch a wall to relieve your frustration at yourself?
LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS....
A. Do you forgive yourself for past mistakes? Do you give yourself grace? Or do you beat yourself up for years for being such a screw-up?
B. Do you hold a grudge and resent yourself for not seeing something bad coming, or continue to feel shame for consequences of past bad choices?
LOVE DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL....
A. Do you protect yourself from unhealthy situations and people? Do you defend yourself against negative talk and surround yourself with "good" like minded people?
B. Or do you allow yourself to be in a position, or remain in a place, that creates wounds in you? Are you allowing past hurts to haunt your future?
LOVE ALWAYS TRUSTS....
A. Do you think the best of yourself? Do you trust the holy spirit in you, and that still small voice that guides you?
B. Or are you afraid of how you feel and suspicious of your motives and thoughts? Do you second guess yourself consistently?
LOVE ALWAYS PROTECTS....
A. Are you making healthy godly choices? Do you keep a watchful eye out for things that could hurt you. Do you defend your Christian values and walk away from bad environments and situations?
B. Or do you allow other peoples opinions of you to hurt you, and threaten your value?
LOVE REJOICES WITH TRUTH....
A. Does your self talk build you up, or tear you down? Do you believe what God says about you? Do you know in your heart that you are already amazing, just the way you are?
B. Or do you believe the worst of what other people say about you? Do you feel your not good enough, pretty enough or smart enough to be loved?
LOVE ALWAYS HOPES....
A. Are you confident in who you are? Do you believe that God has a plan for your life? Do you believe when things get tough, that God will guide you through the rough patches?
B. Or do you blame yourself for all your shortcomings? Do you feel like things will never get any better?
LOVE ALWAYS PRESERVERS....
A. Do you believe that with Gods help you can overcome any difficulty or obstacle in your life? Do you get back up and try again when you fail?
B. Or do you quit when things get hard or give up when the hurt is too much?
We are loved by a loving God. He loves us so much that he often refers to us as his "beloved children." God loves us today. Not tomorrow when we make better choices, not when we finally get our act together, not after we die! NOW! God loves us perfectly and accepts us unconditionally today, not because of our performance, but because we are his children.
If God sees all these things in us, and loves us, why can't we? Why are we so hard on ourselves and think the worst about us? I believe that if we do not have a healthy love for ourselves that we are not capable of loving others to God's standard.
If you were to write yourself a love letter, would it contain the words, beloved, beautiful, wonderfully made, treasured? That is exactly the things God says about us! I struggle to see myself through God's eyes. So many things get in the way, and I tend to listen to the other voices that clamor for my attention. What if today, I saw myself through God's eyes? Used his measure stick? Believed I was uniquely and wonderfully made? The brightest and clearest mirror of his creativity? Would I love myself more? Would it be a priority in my life to love what God loves and holds so dear?